A Fork In The Road by *intao on deviantART
A Room with a View
Most times I sit and type my blogs in my front room. It is a gateway to several places in the house. My bedroom, bathroom, dining room and up the stairs. From here I can listen to my children complain about homework. Or watch them post things on Facebook, since our computer is centrally located in our frontroom, thank you very much. I can watch my hard working husband crash on the couch. I can get the front door. It's a very good view of what is going on in our little home.
I am in my last semester at the local college and will need to make a decision about what to do beyond my associate's degree. I don't even know that it matters. I'm doing this so that I will have some type of paper to show that I have education to do a job--that doesn't exist anymore. I will be taking classes that will go towards the old Liberal Arts degree but they've titled it different. If I don't do this, then I will have several years of extra classes to take and I'm not sure I want to do that.
I'm older now. I am approaching 50 in a couple of years or so. The dreams I had when I was young stayed there and new ones took their place. But dreams don't pay bills or feed a family.
My view is one of transition and stability. It seems that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. I am a stay at home mother who is available for her children. I am guiding my children to become more independent and self reliant so that when the time comes, they will fly. Some people embrace this but I chafe at the very thing I like. Stability.
The other view is one of transition. I am getting older and it cannot be escaped. The options that were open to me in my 20s and 3os are no longer feasible. I am a dreamer from way back and I suppose I always will be. Responsibilites and age are clouding my view.
3 comments:
well first of all kudos for slogging it out with the classes. I've got a bit over five years on you and I don't think I could do it.
I was a stay at home mom for ten years and it was the hardest but best thing I have ever done. Financially, emotionally, every ....ally you can think of - just fill in the blanks. I work full time now in a job that would pay more than twice as much if I had a degree but I can't quit because it pays for the health insurance that is our lifeline.
Still - I like what I do, and I work with wonderful people. My kids are in college and somehow we are making it. None of this gives you any answers - just some companionship maybe? LOL Hang in there, I'll say a prayer for you.
Your readers will feel honored to hear about your goals, your family and your dreams. I don't think you need advice. You are making the right decisions but like us all that bogeyman "transition" constantly appears before us.
I like the honesty and self examination of your post. I agree with you about changing options. Teaching is my second career, and I feel lucky to have a job. They like to hire young people.
Your children are blessed to have you home. As a teacher, my schedule mirrors my kids, and that is a blessing to us.
Thanks for sharing your views.
~Brenda
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