Magpie Tales 157

Overheard at the Museum

What. Is That?

It's by Salvador Dali. It says it's Venus di Milo

With drawers. I can read. What is this guy, like 9 years old? Look where he put the two drawers--

Shhhh

Are you shushing me?

Yes. You're supposed to be quiet.

Quiet? This statue has fuzz balls for handles. Why fuzz balls? Don't they have Home Depot where Salvador Dali comes from?

He's dead.

Didn't they have Home Depot before he died? Builder's Square? Handy Andy? Surely, there was an Ace Hardware.

(The couple giggle. The guard gives them a look, which makes them laugh harder.)

It's existential. It's absurd.

Yes, it is.

No, it's a style. He painted pictures of watches melting.

He got paid. For that too?

He's a very famous artist.

I don't like this.

You don't have to. It's art. It's supposed to make you think.

I think I'm in the wrong line of work.

Come on. Try to open yourself to new experiences.

(He stares at her and takes her hand. They walk to the painting on the wall next to the statue.)

Brilliant Yellow #9. It's drywall--

It's canvas--

It's painted yellow. With a black frame.

Baer was primarily interested in using painting as a vehicle for exploring the complexities of visual perception. From 1963 to 1975, she limited her "imagery" to bands of black combined with colors at the edges of the canvas as a means of emphasizing the essential, objectlike qualities of painting.

(He kisses her hand.) Only for you would I miss the Sox opener.

It's not the Home Opener.

Potato. Po-tah-toe.